Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Wednesday Is For the Garden, All Covered In Ice

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It's been ten days since my last post."

"But it's not all my fault, fact, I think you ought to call God down here so we can have a little chat -- just the three of us -- before you dole out the penance. That would only be fair..."

"What do you mean it's not about 'fair'? It's always about fair. Just ask anyone with a grievance, or anyone under the age of eight, or any misunderstood victim of this or damn darn sure is about "fair." And I have my list right here, thank you. Fairsies first, and then we'll get to my sins."

"First thing, right off: pain isn't fair. Nor are pain medications. Sure they kill the pain, but have you ever tried the side effects?"

", I don't think I want to give up the pain medication just yet. So maybe we'll skip that one. But how about all that ice on the ground? I can't even step outside without the risk of undoing all the surgery on my that fair, I ask you?"

"Well, yes...the house is warm and cozy. The living room's a bit chilly, though...we never did insulate it that well. Ah, no. I don't have to sit in there. And you're right, that's what God made sweaters for. I was just saying..."

"Yes, it's true. The ice on the ground does a good job of killing off some of the more obnoxious insects we had last summer. You have a point there...oh, never mind about calling God into this. He'd be even worse than you. So we may as well deal with this ourselves..."

"Now about my sins...I hope you understand what a horrible childhood I had. We need to get that straight first..."


At 9:11 AM, Blogger Baron Bodissey said...

I thought the devil made you do it.

At 5:35 AM, Blogger Wally Ballou said...

I know, life is hideously unfair, but aside from the fact that you (and I) have warm and safe houses with plenty of food to eat and books to read (we really must count those blessings), just imagine how much richer being cooped up is now that we have the Internet to amuse us.

At 9:18 PM, Blogger linearthinker said...

Did y'all have a plague of Japanese beetles last summer in VA? They were hell in AR. A friend said it was probably due to the mild winters the last few years.

Blessings indeed, Wally.
I really ought to work on my snarkiness.

A logger friend told me this week that the wasp's favorite meal is the meatbee. Allowing for regional variations, I'm thinking maybe that could translate to paper hornets (or wasps) liking yellow jackets. It seems when the big bodied wasps are swarming around the porch, those pesky meatbees make themselves scarc. Just a thought, knowing you've had your own wars with them.


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