Wednesday, December 21, 2005

UPS Sucks

Christmas is in the air, in the blogosphere...and were I plugged into the rest of the world no doubt it would be on the radio and television. All those awful carols, sung to a finely wrought travesty. All those manic, fake smiles of people with too many things and not enough free time to use them all.

So far I've managed all my shopping online, except for one heavy present for The Boy that I schlepped home myself -- or rather, the Baron did -- as I couldn't imagine the postal lady lugging that thing to the door.

Let us praise the Post Office, which comes down our long driveway and toots to let us know they've arrived before coming to the porch with our packages. The postal lady clomps up the stairs in her boots, wearing an apron under her heavy sweater and a smile as she hands over the mail. She only comes down the drive if there are packages so these days I see her almost every day. And inevitably she'll tell me of the latest perfidy of the United Parcel Service.

UPS Delivers, Sort OfLet us boo United Parcel Service, which ties our packages to trees, or leaves them abandoned on the side of the driveway and hopes we notice their presence. They (illegally) hang them off the mailbox on the road, or if the package is too big, they walk across the road and dump the thing on the porch of the white house.

Now these drivers are familiar with this territory. They know no one lives in the white house. It belongs to the descendants of the owners, all twelve of them — descendants, that is, not owners — so unless someone notices a package on the porch…well, too bad. They’ve ruined a few things that way.

Things have gotten so bad that we’re collecting the pictures to send to the district manager. UPS must think it’s a government agency. It sure acts like one. And the post office seems to have traded places.

Someday, you will hear the story of the blind postmistress in the tiny post office near the river, not too far from here. Why that place hasn’t closed is anyone’s guess. Probably because the post office box users would have to travel another twenty miles to get their mail.


At 9:53 AM, Blogger Wally Ballou said...

Geez - you can't have the same delivery guy we do. We get good and friendly service from UPS, FedEx and USPS here on this side of the County. Only Airborne Express is a joke (they have twice left a package out of our sight by the garage door - totally exposed to weather, instead of walking 30 or so feet to the covered front porch).

You should probably complain to UPS. You should certainly blister the ears of your own delivery guy.

At 10:26 AM, Blogger Dymphna said...

Blister *whose* easr???We never see the guy. He doesn't bother coming near enough to the house to be seen. For all I know it could be an airy fairy dropping the package from her little airy fairy backpack onto the ground, or fluttering long enough to tie it to a tree -- so far the tree delivery has been my favorite.

I waited two weeks for delivery on a package and it never came. I called them and they sent another. As soon as it did, the original showed had been sitting on the porch across the street but no one had seen it until one of the people who own it came by on an errand. So I had to send that one back...

UPS Sucks. And you bet, they are going to get pictures, many pictures.

Thank heavens Amazon uses the postal service instead of the UPS crop plane.

At 11:32 PM, Blogger hank_F_M said...

When I first moved to this neighborhood the postal lady had an add-on service –the meet your neighbor program. Every day you would go out to your mailbox, see where on the block the mail is addressed to and walk it down to their mail box. Got to meet a lot of nice people.

UPS and others just leave packeges where they can't be seen.

At 1:37 PM, Blogger linearthinker said...

Our regular UPS route guy is special. He takes it as a challenge to locate remote homesteads way back in the woods.
This often involves tracing unmarked lanes taking off unmarked roads, and he's even encountered instances where some newcomers decided they didn't like the name of their road, and just changed it, unilaterally, from Baptist Camp Road to Acorn Way (yuck). And he cheerfully waves at me wherever in the county we drive by each other. FedEx is good, also. The alternate route people do take shortcuts. A package I'd been waiting for had been left on someone's porch in a nearby subdivision, along with several others' deliveries. I found out when by chance I ran into a neighbor who first remarked on my purchase, and then said it was waiting for me at "the green house."

At 2:05 AM, Blogger Binkyjinks said...

UPS SUCKS! My driver throws packages over my wall as he barely slows down. At least half of my online purchases have been broken because of this behavior. And he throws all of the packages addressed to people on my street to my address. He has never rang my bell to obtain a signature. Once the driver left an overnight letter envelope inside my trash can because "it was hidden from my neighbor's view". I spoke to the local HUB manager and to a manager in Atlanta and they didn't seem to care. They said they were sorry, but they didn't fire the guy and his behavior didn't change. I won't use UPS if I can possibly help it. No wonder their stock has tanked lately. They are a poorly run, sub-standard horrible company and I pity anyone who must use them.


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