Catholics Need Not Apply
Seems like there's a Christian adoption agency in Mississippi that has a " no Catholics need apply" policy. If you're a Catholic (Hex sign! Hex sign!) you do not get one of Bethany Christian Services' little babies. Theology trumps parenthood.
Subsequent to applying at this agency, Robert and Sandy Steadman got a nastygram from the director:
"It has been our understanding that Catholicism does not agree with our Statement of Faith," Bethany director Karen Stewart wrote. "Our practice to not accept applications from Catholics was an effort to be good stewards of an adoptive applicant's time, money and emotional energy."Parse that mealy-mouthed bigotry: "don't waste our time, you Catholic heathens. No Christian babies for you. God told us you can't have any."
My mother used to talk about this practice in Ireland in the old days: when she applied for a job the signs in the windows often said "Catholics Need Not Apply." One of the ways they tested for RCs was to have you recite the Lord's Prayer. If you didn't rattle off the Protestant version you were out on your ear.
Funny me. I thought we'd become more ecumenical than that. What is this agency afraid of? Maybe these (shudder) Catholics will sprinkle holy water on the baby?
Well, saints preserve us. What a bunch of haters we Christians be. Somebody get the rope and kindling. We need a good burning at the stake to clear the air. While the heretics burn, we'll all hold hands and sing that Austin Lounge Lizards' song:
Jesus Loves Me (But He Can't Stand You)
I know you smoke, I know you drink that brew
I just can't abide a sinner like you
God can't either, that's why I know it to be true that
Jesus loves me--but he can't stand you
I'm going to heaven, boys, when I die
'Cause I've crossed every "t" and I've dotted every "i'
My preacher tell me that I'm God's kind of guy; that's why
Jesus loves me--but you're gonna fry
God loves all his children, by gum
That don't mean he won't incinerate some
Can't you feel those hot flames licking you
Woo woo woo
I'm raising my kids in a righteous way
So don't be sending your kids over to my house to play
Yours'll grow up stoned, left-leaning, and gay; I know
Jesus told me on the phone today
Jesus loves me, this I know
And he told me where you're gonna go
There's lots of room for your kind down below
Whoa whoa whoa
Jesus loves me but he can't stand you . . .
File under Disgusting and Disturbing.